s different. he would taunt. When he was on the ground.

their skin blistered from the touch of the metal
. their skin blistered from the touch of the metal.. covered in filth and sores. eager not to miss out on the loot.. Whatever I thought I was fighting for.Let us go. If one of our illustrious leaders hears you. this old tomb was what we were fighting for. But he did not. A ways ahead. We know. I watched as many a loyal soul. not some moth-eaten hermit. They're coming! They're almost here!From the east.No. maybe her husband. sucking our water skins dry. Anything at all. a solid wooden barrier the height of three men. For whatever the reason. All I saw was the glimmer of his studded glove as the hilt of a sword crashed across my skull.I gave him a wink. raped. resembling his mount. In all this madness I had found a moment of clarity and truth with this Turk. his small eyes moving from person to person.

wildly gasping for air.I finally caught sight of Sophie. Then. A wave of our own cavalry went out to meet them. swept up in the tide of the charge. What's left of us. seemingly raised as one.' the traveler says. Then the devils moved on to us. leaving eight dead and burning almost every house to the ground. Even my mother's mother could cross here.Sir. On the fate of your soul. He would give up the city. they were split open by the Turks as they swooped by. the stubborn Bohemond among them. ? The Turk seemed to sigh.. On my word. unsure look. yet we trudged on; our hearts and wills. Just like when we were children. March. I begged..Just then. Our once fledgling troop was now an army forty thousand strong.I struggled to my feet.

.But the old Greek was too slow and laden with gear to get out of the way. Jeers. the relics fall out of trees. Nico warned. and the most precious relics in all of Christendom. and his shoulder fell away from his body as the massive blade lodged deep in his chest. my son?'`I saw your signs along the road. grammar.Knights took off their helmets and surveyed the city in awe. past the fires to the edge of the camp.I pressed Robert up against the wall.I wanted to take something from the church with me.. leaving the wheel aloft and Alo's lifeless body suspended high. his rush was intercepted by Robert. I instructed him. hundreds of tall towers. Turbaned men rushed into the street and were cut down in bloody messes before they could even raise their swords. his small eyes moving from person to person. I could mark them only by the sores oozing on my feet. They pushed aside women and children. And my legs stung from the spray of molten pitch. and the head of a man next to me shot off like a kicked ball. falling to his knees.. I noticed that my own tunic and arms were smeared with blood. Make way!We scattered off the trail and turned to see Guillaume.

He was just a boy. there is a third sign. the Pope's protection is worthless.A massive walled fortress.. I winked. I stood paralyzed.Our bodies cried. dozens of turbaned riders flashing long.. Spoils and booty were being divvied up among the men.Robert and I pushed our way through the crowd and peered out over the edge of the gulf. I have something important to talk to you about. Baldwin? Haven't I done what was expected?Feel free to take your appeal to His Holiness. Spare this man. shaking my head. I knew she valued it more than anything in her life.March. and to most of us. piercing the Turk with my sword.You are right .My knight. the soldiers mocked.There is the one about the convent and the whorehouse. horrified. We stood in our tracks and scanned the hills.Why. hearing the alarm.

yet we trudged on; our hearts and wills. as tall as the highest towers. and who can blame him? We've marched a long way. I grabbed my shield and ran after the boy. from the same building.All but one. their long.a village in southern France . I could not hold it back. It seems he wasn't cut out for the miller's life after all. he winked at his men.He stays under out of shame. The Turk fell to his knees.Death after meaningless death. They're coming! They're almost here!From the east.Robert !THE ATTACKER HURTLED into Robert and swung his sword with both hands. stepping toward him.Yet nothing so far could prepare us for the hell we were about to face. your labor now depleted by a third?Georges's eyes darted about. her shy blue eyes unable to hide from mine. holding the sunflower. I fear not. It is your lord.Carrot-top here must be keen on the miller. European.No. Now that was just a mocking refrain in my dreams..

Here I was. I can't wait for my next sunflower. This time: `Convent. I knew any moment could be my last. cheered in every town we passed. Peter's we signed up for. The talk.THE FEW SURVIVORS HUDDLED AROUND fires that night. They charged our ranks as if on a holy mission. A soothsayer who couldn't even predict his own death? he spat. It made us realize even more that they would not easily give in. It was only luck to avoid death at any point. The monk Peter mounted his donkey. for some kind of dagger. I didn't know if he would speak or strike. Who knows? I smiled. the size of two men. who farmed a plot by the river. someone said. our ranks shredded. do you not?Norcross leaned against the wheel for the longest time. think of how our lives could change. I fear not. had turned toward me.In front of us a young woman ran out of a burning house. we grew to hate and curse.. slaughtering infidels and hoarding all the spoils.

was of treasure and glory. The sooner we get there. like nothing I had ever seen before.Saint Peter's sandals .' she says. What do you say. No reason to make one less. sometimes dragging a companion along with him. running from house to house. Roman ruins and temples.Our catapults flung giant missiles of fiery rock. his sword poised above my head. My stomach felt as empty as a bottomless pit. We were told to ride east until the smell of shit.Those we captured were sometimes handed over to a fearsome group of Frank warriors called Tafurs. we joined forces with Count Robert of Flanders and Bohemond of Antioch. I wished Nico were here.The giant man hesitated. but we needed water badly. with red crosses either painted or sewn onto plain tunics. Reach up your other hand. you won't have your treasure for long.Then Norcross's face split into an amused smile. Tafurs. like an eighth-moon. Our division captain ordered us to follow. and his brown robes had holes in them..

Oh. stepping into the center of the square. delving back to my days as an innkeeper. If this was how it would be. And higher up. I noticed a glimmer coming from under a rock. God wills thismurder ?I HAD NO SOONER STEPPED INSIDE the dark.Then my mind fixed on the danger of the moment. Heads severed and gawking. if my lord wants. I swear it.. hundreds of tall towers.I'm strong. a fiery-eyed Turk. so we decided to enter the town. schooled in the sciences and languages.. I protested. would she kiss my bright red hair now that it was filled with gore and lice?My queen. or the lice crawling in my beard. Whatever I thought I was fighting for. I had made two lasting friends.And who areyou . I wanted to say. Months so long and grueling. and Boethius. Turbaned men rushed into the street and were cut down in bloody messes before they could even raise their swords.

What else could matter? I was a fool to have left her. And here they were.I finally caught sight of Sophie. I put the priest's staff to the ground and took a step-the other way.You're leaving. spilling over with defenders in white robes and bright blue turbans at every post. daylight darkened. Its feet were unable to hold the trail.Many knights sank to their knees in prayer. I was twice the boy's size. all the young who had so eagerly signed up..What's going on? Who needs help ? they shouted. his head rolling away from him. hacking away at limbs and heads.. Our entire town gasped in horror.Their presence here could only signal harm. you will think this was Paradise. he boasted. Father Leo.. This happened.Sophie and I watched as the column began to cross the stone bridge on the outskirts of our town.Every couple of days. hurrying from the well with her bucket. The talk. Peter's we signed up for.

stuffing his entrails into his mouth as he died. The streets ran ankle deep with blood. with the help of a cohort. I clenched my fist. One false step would mean a grisly death. thearmy of Crusaders . I finally staggered up the steep stone steps in a fit of rage. `Very well. Norcross gathered his knights. A calm came over me. One year.These Tafurs reported to no lord among us.Go where ? There was something in his face. tearing at their sizzling faces and eyes. Hugh. not over peaks.In the doorway of the inn. buckling to their knees. his eyes focused and fierce.In Caesarea. brandishing a makeshift knife. you lazy louts. The happiest days of my life. his military chief. The fortress lacked all water. This is Veille du P?re?It must be. Alo went under. An anguished plea rose from the crowd.

The Turk took a measuring look at me. What little water we carried we consumed like drunken fools. But soon we understood it was not embarrassment but the weight of Guillaume's armor that was preventing him from pulling himself up.. you say. The blade of my sword penetrated his side. Men simply dropped as they marched. A left at the next ridge and we should seeRome. They swept down on our fleeing troops and hacked them where they stood.. he rushed toward me. grinning.Saint Peter's sandals . When they were done.. Begging to God. even heroic.Nothing lay in our path toward the Holy Land except the Moslem stronghold of Antioch. You have to cross the mountains. either pierced or rolling on the ground trying to smother the flames on their bodies. then pointed east. all at once. You have no power. I noticed that my own tunic and arms were smeared with blood.He carried Alo. or even beg for my life.. crowding the massive walls.

my son?'`I saw your signs along the road. Begging to God. One was Nicodemus.So. When he was on the ground. pinning the staff uselessly under his sandal. then pointed east.. Everyone in our town was pressed around the tiny square. It would be my friend when I crossed the mountains again. By a third more. horses. Norcross nodded. loud footsteps burst through the outer door.She sat up straight. All I wanted was to get off this ridge. Mother of God. loud footsteps burst through the outer door. I staggered around. who instructs him. I was sure. Roman ruins and temples. as was my vow. spilling over with defenders in white robes and bright blue turbans at every post. thearmy of Crusaders . Now that was just a mocking refrain in my dreams. slaughtered Christian and infidel alike. curved swords.

The pious among us dreamed of their holy mission; the nobles. The rage that burned in my heart from the day's horror was killing me. and Boethius.Everyone be ready. Peter's we signed up for. Jerusalem!TELL US A STORY. !The sword caught Robert just below the throat.Robert bolted ahead. A bearded knight helped him slide off. Professor? and the old Greek muttered only. Then the trumpet sounded again. The Turks.I looked into his hooded eyes.We gazed at each other with a sigh of relief. but they fell against the massive walls like harmless sticks. what do you see?What do I see? Either the holiest army I've ever seen or the dumbest. I continued to hack at him. Buildings were torched. I am sure. If it's riches. Do we finally get to pay them back?Sharpen that knife. then merged with the ranks.The other assailant rose and faced me. I thought there was a brothel. Battering rams were tossed aside and abandoned. and looked toward me. `We'll be in Jerusalem by summer. shaking my head.

'`Why not?' the traveler thinks. Mouse called to me.THE MORNING OF THE DAY I was to leave was bright and clear. Turbaned men rushed into the street and were cut down in bloody messes before they could even raise their swords. alongside foot soldiers like Robert and me. I bade farewell to my sweet Sophie. wielding the dagger that was still covered with the priest's blood. then he nodded. You are no soldier. It seemed to stretch out forever. thoughts of treasure and spoils seemed alive and real.I'll find food. but I wasn't going there.. We said good-bye to Constantinople. I remarked to Robert. But every time a soldier moaned. yelping and hacking at those who met them.There were some early successes.The longer Antioch survived. I scanned the walls. Freedom. But Raymond has promised freedom to anyone who joins. I knew the stench. Our pace quickened. I turned to Robert with a sigh of relief. It was all that kept him from plunging to his death..

Antioch would finally fall.' everyone cheered. Tafur. winding passages where he sees many beautiful young nuns who smile at him. That brave smile. I recognized him as Guillaume.. He winked. as was my vow. an old knight said. Hurry.A gasp escaped from those on shore. They grinned and dragged poor Aim?e. Men. almost dumbfounded. an old Greek. I saw one defender cut in half by a mighty ax blow. A ways ahead.A silence ensued. His small jaw hung open. or where. and honor in battle..My attacker hesitated. Hugh. would she kiss my bright red hair now that it was filled with gore and lice?My queen. I will make you a map.And who areyou .

glistening eyes. Norcross declared.I heard awful cries of death farther up the hill. he had the reputation of being a bit of a soothsayer too. eh? I bowed sarcastically with an exaggerated flourish.Right in front of our eyes. boy. consumed by heavy blows and disemboweling slashes. They raised me as one of their own. I lunged toward him. and reached out the jagged edge of her comb one last time.I wanted to take something from the church with me. follow me. schooled in the sciences and languages. Hugh. gripping the sheer stone as huge rocks crashed around us. I will be back. then head directly for it. Tafur.Too late.Carrot-top here must be keen on the miller. A sliver of orange light was just breaking over the hills to the east. He blinked at me. piercing the Turk with my sword. Then he toppled forward. On the fate of your soul. with the help of a cohort. Reach up your other hand.

.See. Water was as scarce as wine.No one wants to hear your silly jokes. But this was magnified a thousand times. passing from horror to horror. Above me. your queen. eager to show our face to the Turks. I yelled. I knew any moment could be my last.No! I lunged.Frantic shouts rang out.A cabbage.Hold on .. They threw both into the middle of the square. or close my eyes. cool nave of the church than I heard a cry of anguish coming from the front.But just as the man's spear was inches from my throat. praised for valor in battle. carrot-top.I never thought I would ever say good-bye to you. but as we climbed.The longer Antioch survived.Whatkind of God inspired such horror? Was this God's fault? Or man's?Something snapped in me. Now he was gone and I was here.I pushed Robert through the smoke and dust in the direction of our ranks.

Sophie. Thousands of them.I know not exactly what went through my mind as. `Good enough. tearing at their sizzling faces and eyes.Robert ran ahead to hurl one of the rocks toward the walls. What do you say. seeming to split him in two. They've gone ahead to Antioch. That whatever God had in store for us.father. while the fearful cleric did his best to defend himself with a rough wooden staff. I had traveled in my youth.. the column came to a halt.A year later. And later.tonight !Tonight. I had to see Sophie again. Others. You better tell him. Let's find the fucking crypt. were being held for ransom. After my discovery.. the monk said in a surprisingly strong voice. someone commented. the mistress of a cleric who could no longer hide my presence.

'Yes.Shouts of acclamation rose throughout the square. Children Wailed for their mothers before being hurled into raging flames like kindling. cursing him in their tongue. Sophie. The strangest urge overcame me. Jerusalem is near. Churches have been burned and looted. the poor mule toppled over the edge and fell into the void. tired mules and plow horses.Guillaume's horse waded in..Then I knelt beside Robert. Then I saw his expression relax into the slightest inkling of a smile.And who areyou . they urged. or offal. brandishing a makeshift knife. A ways ahead.Go where ? There was something in his face. mock waving. gaining hold. I knew I could no longer fight. Professor. the water was still no higher than the horse's ankles.It was the image I carried for the next two years. whores..

sainted sites destroyed. I was a different man.. still carrying their tools. Sophie.And who areyou . gripping the sheer stone as huge rocks crashed around us. I will make you a map. And agile. Norcross declared. blessed the town with a wave. It was as if the boy had seen that he was powerless to stop his own death and.IT HAPPENED JUST THAT WAY nearly every day. I could be cut down as soon as I stepped out on the street.. and the head of a man next to me shot off like a kicked ball.I struggled to my feet. more Tafurs hunting for spoils. a thin band of beech wood painted with flowers. Everyone in our town was pressed around the tiny square. What a glorious adventure awaited. If it's riches. He nearly knocked men down as he trotted indifferently through our ranks. thudding and clanging into shields and armor all around. But most of all.Father Leo spoke up. Do not compare the Pope's holy protection to yours. All I could do was scream.

These Tafurs reported to no lord among us. he would taunt. wielding leaded clubs and axes. and I saw I could not get there in time. One of the ram carriers went down. Mother of God.One by one.The sun became a raging.WE BURIED THE DEAD for six days straight.I missed being free.I love you too.Yet nothing so far could prepare us for the hell we were about to face..Suddenly. I leaned over the dead Turk. and continues along. Jagged mountains appeared in our path. I wanted freedom for Sophie and the children we would have one day. A sea of white tunics and red crosses. Those that stopped to attend to them were engulfed in the same boiling liquid themselves. Do they think we can see at night what we cannot even shoot during the day?No. It seemed to stretch out forever. but as he got close. From that moment on. In all this madness I had found a moment of clarity and truth with this Turk. barely able to believe my eyes. You don't look like much of a Crusader..

they were not defending themselves. missing me by the width of a blade. the Saracen rider had fallen off..Then he lowered his head and puked his guts out on the field. hearing the alarm. Then he merely winked at me. I will carry his expression with me for the rest of my life. The holiest treasures of our faith. where they fell. unprotected-chopped to bits in their tents.. I stood paralyzed. We stood in our tracks and scanned the hills. Feel free to help yourselves to some of the miller's lovely grain. and even more than that.Those we captured were sometimes handed over to a fearsome group of Frank warriors called Tafurs. They were not wearing crosses but filthy robes. The rows of red crosses sent a shiver right through me.. I was no hero. tell me. and looked toward me. plopped atop a simple mule. with red crosses either painted or sewn onto plain tunics.. madness boiled out of control.See.

' the abbess replies. her brave smile as I hopped down the road. and gruesome gasps escaped from their wretched mouths. A Seljuk horde of thousands surrounded the city and simply waited them out. past the fires to the edge of the camp. in hues of crimson and purple I had never seen. No great loss. a few of her feathers left in a cart. His small jaw hung open. they urged. Hardened knights. and started to walk. but as we got closer. What did you see?It was laughter that had saved me. crossing the Bosporus on wooden pontoons. When he was on the ground. But a little man in a homespun monk's robe.We spotted red crosses painted everywhere. A soothsayer who couldn't even predict his own death? he spat. he called. I had fought bravely. Raymond and Bohemond. their skin blistered from the touch of the metal. I squawked about like a chicken. another charge? Weary and frightened soldiers around me moaned in disbelief.We focused on the eastern wall. heads charred and roasted. They leave for the Holy Land in a few days.

Red crosses smeared all over the walls-in blood. An image of my own death rose in my mind.Crusaders . pieces of shit.What's going on? Robert looked around. then head directly for it. I felt my soul spring alive. I raised myself to my elbows.I heard awful cries of death farther up the hill. only a fool. I laughed above the din.Hold on . our liege lord.How could I leave her? How could I be such a fool?You'll come back.As this became clear. spitting words I recognized. Hugh.The trail we walked was flat and manageable.I don't know. seeing the old man slipping off the edge. in a way I was proud. past Robert and Nico. The animal's hind legs spun.In this he has no choice. Just like when we were children. the Tafurs were distinguished by the ragged sackcloth they wore as uniforms and by the ferocious savagery with which they fought. We can do anything we want. stepping toward him.

I wanted freedom for Sophie and the children we would have one day. As they readied.. Give me your hand.I was able to grip the strap of the leather satchel slung over his shoulder.I wanted to lash at the church with my sword. Churches have been burned and looted. the same Guillaume had stood behind me after Nicodemus was swept off the rocky cliff to his death. `and consider yourself properly screwed!'Laughter broke out from all around. All I wanted was to get off this ridge. or even beg for my life. I yelled. maybe four feet long. Get ready. I realized we were marching through valleys now. or where.. At the total ridiculousness of it all.Then a torch waved over the north tower. there was thishowl from the surrounding hills. was it the Crusade?A ripple of tired laughter snaked through the exhausted ranks. pieces of shit..

Our battalions headed toward the north tower. Antioch would finally fall. Stalls and markets were crammed with the most exotic goods. Do we finally get to pay them back?Sharpen that knife. It could be anybody. I watched as many a loyal soul. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. What remains of it. never sheltered. But soon we understood it was not embarrassment but the weight of Guillaume's armor that was preventing him from pulling himself up. Ten of Paris could have fit within its walls. my lord.The sun became a raging. his military chief. A crowd of others. sucking in precious food. some babbling hermit at the head. What else could matter? I was a fool to have left her. The rest of us set out for there. they were not defending themselves. Maybe I would be rich. I stood paralyzed. On the fate of your soul.

cursing him in their tongue. and then a shout. And. Yet he'd spared me. wildly gasping for air. For a moment I almost raised my hand and called out.The other assailant rose and faced me. Her legs parted and I gently eased myself inside. had formed behind me.I'll find food. but as we climbed. The Turk fell to his knees. other visitors came through our town. they were setting me free!If the Turk had not hesitated just a moment ago. I stepped forward. and though I knew it was probably my last breath. and the mood in the ranks brightened with anticipation of what lay ahead.. another charge? Weary and frightened soldiers around me moaned in disbelief.. Stalls and markets were crammed with the most exotic goods. I couldn't believe it..

the stubborn Bohemond among them. Frank.Get out of here.Let us go. his eyes focused and fierce. We can do anything we want. I instructed him. I had traveled in my youth. I saw Sophie there at her father's inn. Children ran out and danced around the approaching monk. as if he were evaluating whether to leave me in the same condition as the Turk.What's going on..Norcross finally began to raise the wheel.. Men and women hacked up like diseased stock. An image of my own death rose in my mind. as Sophie and I lay in bed. We're going in.. this time it's different. he would taunt. When he was on the ground.